What's the worst thing you can do for anxiety?

The worst thing you can do for anxiety is fight it: tensing against the sensation, demanding it stop immediately, numbing it with alcohol or substances, or isolating yourself from the people and situations that trigger it. These responses all deepen the nervous system's belief that anxiety is dangerous.

Key takeaways

Fighting a feeling keeps it activated for longer than letting it run its course.
Alcohol and other depressants dampen anxiety short-term but worsen the underlying nervous system reactivity over time.
Isolating from people or situations because of anxiety is one of the most reliable ways to make it worse.
Catastrophic self-talk ('something is seriously wrong with me') adds a second layer of fear on top of the physical sensation.
The common thread in all the worst responses is resistance; the way out tends to run through acceptance instead.

Why is fighting the sensation worse than feeling it?

When anxiety rises, the instinctive move is to brace: clench the jaw, hold the breath, tense the shoulders, and mentally demand the feeling leave immediately. This is understandable, but it adds a second stress response on top of the first. The body is now fighting both the original trigger and its own reaction to that trigger, which is why panic can escalate so quickly once resistance kicks in.

This is distinct from calming techniques that genuinely help. The difference is intention: bracing says 'this must not be happening', while allowing says 'this is happening, and I can be with it'. Research comparing acceptance-based responses to suppression-based responses in people with panic disorder found that those instructed to accept their sensations experienced less subjective distress and recovered faster than those instructed to suppress or control them.

Does alcohol or numbing out actually help?

Alcohol, and to a lesser extent other sedating substances, genuinely reduces anxiety in the moment because it depresses the central nervous system. The problem is what happens afterwards. As the substance clears, many people experience a rebound in anxiety that can be worse than the original level, and the nervous system learns to rely on external numbing rather than developing its own tolerance for discomfort. Over weeks and months this tends to increase baseline anxiety and can introduce a second problem on top of the first.

The same logic applies, in a gentler form, to compulsive distraction: endless scrolling, overworking, or filling every silence with noise. These are not moral failings, they are understandable attempts to avoid an uncomfortable internal state. But because they prevent the nervous system from ever discovering that the feeling is survivable without intervention, they keep the underlying sensitivity exactly where it was.

Why does isolating make it worse, not better?

Withdrawing from people, cancelling plans, and shrinking your world so anxiety has fewer opportunities to fire feels protective, and it is one of the most common responses to persistent anxiety. It is also one of the most damaging, for two reasons. First, it is avoidance, which (as with any avoided trigger) confirms to the nervous system that the social situation was genuinely dangerous. Second, human connection is itself a powerful regulator of the nervous system; removing it removes one of the body's natural ways of feeling safe.

People who isolate because of anxiety often report that their world gets quieter but their anxiety does not get smaller, it simply has fewer places left to go, so it concentrates. This is a strong argument for staying gently, consistently connected even when anxiety suggests otherwise.

What actually works

Soften instead of brace

When you feel the urge to tense against the sensation, try the opposite: unclench the jaw, drop the shoulders, let the breath lengthen naturally. You are not fighting, you are making room.

Let the wave move through you

Anxiety has a shape: rise, peak, fall. Resistance extends the peak. Allowing it, without needing it to be different, tends to shorten it.

Stay in contact, don't withdraw

Keep the smallest version of the plan rather than cancelling entirely. A shortened visit beats a cancelled one, because it keeps the learning (and the connection) intact.

Notice the story on top of the sensation

Separate 'my chest feels tight' from 'something is seriously wrong with me'. The second sentence is usually what turns discomfort into panic.

What the research says

Accepting panic sensations leads to less distress than trying to control them. In a laboratory study with people with panic disorder, those instructed to accept their anxious sensations during a carbon-dioxide challenge reported less subjective anxiety and behavioural avoidance than those instructed to suppress them. Levitt et al., Behavior Therapy, 2004
Suppressing a thought increases its later frequency. Attempting to push a thought away made it return more often afterwards than letting it be present from the start. Wegner et al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1987
Acceptance-based therapy produces reliable improvements across anxiety presentations. A meta-analysis of acceptance and commitment therapy trials found moderate, consistent effect sizes for anxiety and related conditions compared with control conditions. A-Tjak et al., Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 2015

Floating means moving forward with life in spite of fear, accepting the sensations that come rather than fighting them.
Claire Weekes, Hope and Help for Your Nerves

When to get medical help

If anxiety is accompanied by chest pain, breathlessness, fainting, or thoughts of harming yourself, seek urgent help: call 999 (UK), 112 (EU) or 911 (US), or contact Samaritans on 116 123. If you are using alcohol or substances to manage anxiety, speak to your GP, who can discuss safe, supportive options.

Frequently asked questions

Is it bad to want anxiety to just stop?

Wanting relief is completely human, not a flaw. The issue is only when that wish turns into forceful resistance against the feeling itself, which tends to prolong it.

Is distraction always a bad idea?

Occasional, light distraction is not harmful. It becomes a problem when it is the only strategy used every time, because it prevents the nervous system from learning the feeling is tolerable without it.

Can drinking occasionally to relax really make anxiety worse long-term?

Regular use of alcohol specifically to manage anxiety is associated with rebound anxiety and increased reliance over time. Occasional, non-dependent social drinking is a different pattern, but it is worth being honest with yourself about which one you are doing.

What should I do instead of isolating when anxious?

Where possible, stay in gentle contact: a short message, a shortened visit, sitting in the same room as someone even without much conversation. Partial connection beats full withdrawal.